anything could happen.



It's been a while.

I've been pondering about a few things that I'd like to put in writing over the last few weeks. Things like how my writing has progressed a lot over the last few years - I looked back at my older writings circa 2005 and they were simply awful. Now, don't worry, this is not one of those suicidal, depressing entries. Quite the opposite, really. God knows how much I love writing self-analytical, thoughtful posts that usually go nowhere in the end. Ha! :)

In terms of writing, I seriously think that one of the best things that my mother has given me is a journal. A diary, if you will. When I was in middle school, in 8th grade to be exact, I subscribed to Kawanku magazine (lol I know, I'm so ~kewl for going against the crowd and not subscribing to Gadis magazine instead) and one time, they had this journal/organizer as a bonus. I started writing a mini-entry every day, for whatever was going on in school. Let's be real though, it was mostly about my ~crush back then, and how happy and excited I was that 'he smiled at me today!' or 'his friends said this about him!' Oy. Little did I know, that by writing nonsense back then, I was actually practicing my writing. I'd love to see that mini-diary of mine again, just to cringe at some of the crazy things the pre-teen me wrote. Ah, to be young and stupid.

But you know, I'm grateful. I now realize that one of the best tips anyone could give to a writer, is to keep a journal. Write for your own pleasure, write for yourself first and foremost. You'll be your own judge of how good or bad your writing is. And even then, it won't matter. When you have successfully conveyed your thoughts and feelings into a form of writing that everyone can relate to, the satisfaction is beyond belief. It makes me wonder, at this day and age, if I'm doing the right thing (read: job-wise). My current job does not exactly pave the way to being a (published) writer. But you know what, even so-called dreamers need funding. So, to be honest, this is what I'm doing. I'm building my future first. Some people might argue that the time to live my dreams is now, don't wait until you get "settled", etc etc.

However, I truly do think that I need to get my life in order first. I am nearing 26, and while I'm not one to get depressed about age, it does put certain things in perspective. Especially when you look left and right, you look at your friends, and see that somehow, it seems that THEY have got their life in order. They get respectable jobs, they get insurance, they start buying apartments or houses, they get engaged, they get married, they suddenly pop kids out of nowhere.... They are moving on with their lives, they are moving forward. And while I've always been the 'I'm-in-no-rush-and-take-my-time-picking-the-perfect-husband-material-thank-you-very-much' type, I do wonder sometimes. About everything. I believe everyone should move in their own pace, and maybe they are ready right now, while I'm not quite there yet. Wonder when I will be.

(Told you this would be a self-analytical post that doesn't go anywhere!)

© Photo by My Life Journal on Unsplash

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