lo and behold, end of year is upon us.

Well, what do you know, it's almost the end of year again, and as usual... I feel like I've achieved nothing these past 12 months. That would be what most people would think as they reflect on things left undone or unsaid during 2012.

But I say, look again, closely this time, and you'll find that really, you have to give yourself more credit. In my case, it's true that while I did not do anything remotely drastic such as bungee jumping (I'd like to be brave enough to, even though I'd most probably cry out of sheer terror) or anything... but I did strike out in more subtle changes throughout my life, and in myself.

Looking back, 2011 was a bad year all-around for me. Devastating break up at the beginning of the year led to - and I am not ashamed to admit it - a slow, agonizing destruction of myself. To get all dramatic, I was no longer the person I thought I knew. (Unrelated note: sometimes, you know, it angers me when pure sadness gets dismissed as being 'galau'. That word ruins everything, in my opinion.) I managed to pick myself up towards the end of the year, around November-December to be exact. Better late than never. When 2012 rolled around, I promised to myself that I would be happier this year... and I was, to some extent. Family and friends, change of pace as I left my comfort zone in search of a challenge to revive a previously dead soul (and while I'm far from happy in my current job, I feel like I've still learned SO much, and rather than viewing it as a false move, I'd call it another step in the right direction), and many other discoveries along the way help me in shaping the person I am now.

I mean, come on. From seemingly 'trivial' matters such as hair makeover (and boy, did it work wonders for my confidence - I seem to stand a little taller with this haircut), finding out that red lipstick is my beauty weapon, chugging tequila for 5 times in a row (yes, I'm looking at you, girl, you know who you are) and beer for much more - this year I found out that I was braver than before. Little steps, yes, and they're in the right direction.

Every year I keep wishing for more - to learn more, to read more, to dance more. What was missing this year is the feeling of contentment. I hope I can get that next year.

© Photo by Vicko Mozara on Unsplash