make it last forever, friendship never ends

You know, unlike some people would have you believe, friendship doesn't have to last "forever". "Forever" is an awfully long time. Well, really, it depends on what you understand by "friendship".

When you were a kid, basically friendship means: "Ooh, she wants to play with me!" When you reach elementary school, friendship means: "Can I have a bite of your chocolate cake?" Another story when you get into middle school, where friendship means: "You know, you're not nerdy. You can be my friend." You think that's bad? Try high school, where everything gets messy: "Girlfriend, so long as you don't steal my boyfriend, we're cool." (Then again, maybe I've been watching too many Hollywood movies... but I swear that kind of thing is universal.)

I think most enduring friendships start to strike in college. It's when we are open-minded enough to befriend everyone, but smart enough to "filter" the people who are bad for you. Maybe. That's what happened to me, anyway. But see, like I said, underline the word "most". There are a lot of friendships that start from way back when you learn to spell the alphabet, or when you first hit puberty. If you can stay really good friends for all this time... then good for you. But I also probably will not believe you one bit if you say, "Oh, we know each other inside out, we tell each other everything."

Bull. See, when you were in middle school, there's this whole BFF forever and ever amen kinda thing. Do you really believe that, as you grow older, and you grow further apart (for things that are out of your control, like jobs and stuff), that that person whom you refer to as your BFF tells you everything and still "knows you inside out"? No. And you know what? That's completely OK.

My perception of friendship has changed over the years, especially when I had to live abroad for most of what I call "existential crisis of identity" phase. Which is bad, right? That's usually when you need your best friends the most, you know, to shape your identity and whatnot. I cried like a hyena at the airport (I'd like to say graceful, princess-like, single tear, but nope - ugly bawling was what it was) when I had to leave for Singapore and say goodbye to my best friends. We fucking made a scene, how embarrassing. LOL but you know, all that emotion pouring through, we thought it was the end of the world. Turns out it was not, and we stayed best friends until now. Hate to say it, but you know, they DO know me better than anyone and at the same time, they don't. We don't talk every day. We don't share everything. We don't immediately know each other's current favorite thing. Sometimes, in cases like mine, we can live in the same city and not even meet or talk at all, even like once every two weeks. What's funny is that when we do meet, she always brings either her boyfriend or other friends.

That used to make me so angry / disappointed / what have you. I felt clingy, like I deserved some time with her and her only. Childish, no? It came to a point when I finally realize, really, it's not her fault. We just grew apart, but never strayed far from each other (ecieh, so cheesy). When we do meet, there's no awkwardness and it feels as if we meet every day. Growing up does things to you, and friendship is one of them. With each of us leading separate lives and having our own responsibilities to worry about, that's really enough on our plates without having to worry some more about whether they're still your BFF FO LYF or something.

That being said, of course it doesn't mean that they've become less important than the friends you have right now, or the ones you claim are "closest" to you at the moment. No. They've become your constant. No matter how much each of you have changed over the years - if your friendship is still ongoing until now, that means that you've all hit the right notes.

OK, NOW GATHER ROUND AND LET'S HUG, PEOPLEEEE. (I might or might not be bored out of my mind while writing this)

© Photo by Artur Aldyrkhanov on Unsplash