talking about empathy and acceptance.

How is it already the middle of September? We're entering the '-ber' months already. They're my personal favorites for obvious reasons (ahem, December is the most magical month of the year), but like most people, the end of Q3 and beginning of Q4 also tend to freak me out because... you know, the end of year. There's such a finality to it, which, as always, forces most of us to be reflective and put everything in perspective. 

Well, here's a fact: 2020 sure hasn't been easy. There's been so many hardships thrown in our faces every day, and this pandemic truly makes us choose between what is right and what is easy. Something else I know to be true is that while this year isn't quite what I hoped it would turn to be, it's still been such a blessing for me because of ––yes, you've guessed it, and I won't ever get tired of mentioning it–– my daughter's birth. I just can't hate 2020 nor wish for it to go by quickly, because I'm just so, so thankful for everything when it comes to her. Alhamdulillah, she was a dream throughout my pregnancy, delivery, up until this very moment. She's healthy and happy, and that's all I'm wishing for... all her life and mine, basically. 

I've mentioned before that this is our generation's war, rather than having it be a full-blown battle with guns and all that, we stay home. It should be easier rather than dying in a field or drowning at sea, right? The reality is, it comes with its own set of challenges which can be traumatic to a certain extent, both physically and mentally. I can feel my own energy get drained sometimes, as much as I try to stay positive and thankful for the good fortunes that Allah SWT has showered upon me and my family. The onslaught of information I get every hour of every day through one tiny screen can be overwhelming, whether it's the good or bad, positive or negative, everything just gets drilled in my head and naturally, sometimes I – just – need – it – to – stop. Well, should be easy, right? "Just log out of all your social media, dumbass," says a voice in my head. "It'll make you feel saner." I even go as far as imagine how easier this whole staying home thing would've been if it had happened in a parallel universe where it's in the 18th or 19th century where the technology hadn't evolved to what it is today, yet... for some reason... the medical technology is what we have now? 

But I digress. That is a fantasy for another time. Back to what I said about choosing between what is right and what is easy. As with most matters there are in this world, there is bound to be a plethora of code of conduct and rules that comes with staying at home. Can't help it, it's a human instinct to follow the rules if you want to function in a society. On the other hand, it's also a human right to have opinions about all matters, including what and what not to do during this pandemic. Even if we should do anything at all. For me personally, while I understand this basic right to speak one's mind, I honestly feel torn on how to behave when I encounter people whose opinion and stance differs from mine. For the record, my stance about this whole pandemic: COVID-19 is real. Stay at home as much as you can. Wear a mask. Wash your hands frequently. Limit all types of direct interaction with other people outside your home (but also be wary of people who come in and out of your home, as well). Don't ever let your guard down, whether it's your family or your friends, it doesn't matter: No one is exempt from contracting this deadly virus. 

The way I see it, the easy thing to do for anyone who disagrees with my stance would be to shout out and preach the contrary – that COVID-19 is a conspiracy concocted by whatever sinister party that's out there to make the world collapse, that wearing masks completely strips one's right to breathe clean air, that social distancing is made up to prohibit people from socializing. The easy thing for me to do in response to all of the above is to retort back and compile every possible evidence necessary to counterattack and on and on and on it goes until one of us admits defeat. Exhausting. I've always said that life is short enough without having to resort to petty arguments, especially when you know there's no end in sight. I've seen way too many of those: people getting angry unnecessarily over all the "he said, she said". People getting offended to the point of blossoming hatred towards the other person. 

What, then, should be the right thing to do? Just have empathy. It is easy to say but so, so hard to do. But at the same time, I really don't think it should be THAT hard, as long as you have something we Indonesians call hati nurani. Heart and conscience. Logic and feelings. Marry the two and you'll have what I like to call empathy (this is in no way a scientific explanation, it's just the way I see it). Put yourselves in other people's goddamn shoes and treat others the way you'd want to be treated. If all that fails, then I think it's alright to be selfish and do what's best for you. Which, if it so happens I come across people who disagree with my stance and are in no position to have a healthy discussion about it, then GOOD RIDDANCE, GO AHEAD AND CATCH THE VIRUS, DON'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR ME. I can't sacrifice my mental health on top of it. I've got too much to deal with already. And that, my friends, is what's called acceptance. 

Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash