to the great beyond.

It's the new year. Just like that, we can now refer to 2020 as 'the past'. 

In a year where time itself seems to be slowing down and rushing like mad all at once, it's no wonder that being overwhelmed doesn't even come close to what one must be feeling. I am not going to wax lyrical (again) about the wonderful but clusterfuck that is 2020, nor will this be those kind of "new year resolutions" posts. If anything, my only resolution this year is to stay healthy and find ways to keep my sanity.

COVID-19 just doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon, and as depressing as that is, my family and I really need to try and live as fully as we can without, you know, being all YOLO about it. It's hard. I want to be able to take my daughter anywhere and everywhere, let her see the world beyond the house and hospital once a month. Looks like I'm going to have to find creative ways to entertain her and make her discover the world from home for another year at least.

Make no mistake, it all angers me so much. People being out and about, going on holidays without masks on or without practicing physical distancing and being so g-d proud about it, makes my heart boil. The selfishness of it all, while the rest of us are here, complying to all the rules in order to keep everyone safe. I really hope this will end sooner rather than later, and we can all return to (a resemblance of) normal life. 

In that spirit, I am doing what I can to start this year right. I deleted rarely used apps on my phone and I continue to unfollow or mute Twitter or IG accounts that serve me no purpose (in this case, when I get bothered by what people post and I end up being judgmental instead, or when I end up scrolling or skipping them altogether). I try to watch an episode of documentary in a day, at least before I continue watching TV shows or movies on my Netflix list. I try to limit my sugar intake in a day (which, if you know me, is so fucking hard for me to do). I am more conscious about the time I spend scrolling social media and on my phone in general. I make a conscious effort to finish what I've started, including those Coursera classes. I am tuning into what my body needs as much as what my head needs, which means meditating and yoga from time to time. 

All that stuff that I've been wanting to do for a while, like writing more, reading more, and trying something new like lettering or painting by numbers... Well, I'm going to start doing that. One by one. If we're to stay at home for another year, then I have to keep myself busy – apart from taking care of my daughter, of course. I also have to learn to let go of my hang-ups, as always. I need to learn to listen more and not being defensive all the g-d time (sorry, husband). I need to save money, especially since I still don't have a job yet. 

Eh, what do you know, this post ended up being a "resolution post" of sorts, in the end. Happy new year, folks.

Photo by Myles Tan on Unsplash