secrets. secrecy. all mysterious shit.

Some people say that inspiration can strike during random moments in a day, but most especially at night. That's what happens to me, frequently. It's also incredibly frustrating when you don't have an outlet at your disposition right away, to 'let them all out'. Case in point: the other day, I was about to sleep, when suddenly, (imagine a light bulb lighting up and me going, AHA!) the-ever-mighty-inspiration decides to knock on my mind's door. (That's a horrible metaphor, once again.) Annoyingly, I did not have any book or pen at the ready back then, so I furiously tried to make a mental note of each idea that came up. Included in that mental-mapping activity are the various inspirations I got on.... *drum rolls* that bloody book I keep telling myself to write. Now, I'm not saying that I've started writing at all, but just had a few ideas lying around. Characters, setting, storyline (of some sorts), etc... Suffice to say, I'm very happy. It's a long, winding road ahead, and I'm not even sure I'd want to get it published. I'll write it for myself, first and foremost.

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to talk about something else. Secrets. Another concept I'm interested in, apart from hope. I don't actually know where to start, but I'll say this: I have a secret. (Cue all of you rolling your eyes.) Everyone does, correct? You may say that, 'Oh, but I tell this and/or that absolutely everything! I don't keep secrets, I'm an open book!' Wrong. Nobody is ever that much of an open book. Besides, where's the fun in being one? You don't get people to take interest in you, you don't have an ounce of mystery surrounding your persona... Blah, such a bore. Here's what I'll say, at least, about me (revamped from earlier):

I'm currently having a new secret, nobody knows, and I really enjoy keeping it for myself. Sure, one day, my closest friends will probably know all this, but as for now... It's so much fun having something (else) that is just for me. It's a bit like having another power to yourself. It's not, by all means, perfect, but I'm happy. In a way, you know those people having secret affairs? Whether I approve of that is neither here nor there. I guess I just get it - the thrill of sneaking around, the adrenaline, just feeling alive. In fact, you know, for all they know, they might not even be attracted to their partner in question - they might be addicted to the feeling. Who knows? Oh, and this is not to say that I'm currently having a secret affair. Just for the record.

But damn, do I love this new secret of mine!

© Photo by Ben White on Unsplash